Wednesday, September 11, 2013

It's Been A While...

Yesterday, I found out that someone very close to the family, my Aunt Dottie, had recently passed away. Thing is, though, although we found out yesterday, she had actually passed on Cinco de Mayo--May 5th. Her family hadn't told us until yesterday when we all tried calling her to see how she was and that we would be coming to see her next month. I think it was horribly rude of her family not to tell us of her passing, especially because she was so close to us... I remember as a child, when I still lived in New York, that I was always at Aunt Dottie's house...

However, the past five or six days, there was this smell that I always associate with Aunt Dottie because I would smell it every time we went to see her at her house. That smell? I smelled it here at home in Maryland, in brief whiffs, and in walking around the house. I smelled that scent...I smelled my Aunt Dottie. I would also see this muted white blur of a form just out of my peripheral. At the time, I hadn't known...I hadn't known it was her. And then yesterday the call came from my grandmother, informing us of her passing and that she was headed over to the house. I told my Auntie Paulette and my mum; my auntie was crying when she called. And I had wanted her to meet my husband-to-be...I wanted her to know that she would be welcoming in another addition to our growing family...*deeps breath*

Last night, I went to bed earlier than I normally would. Two dreams, both with my husband-to-be in them. The first I think I had morning sickness and I was out with a close friend visiting some people. He wasn't there yet, but was on his way because he had to take care of something. Brittie (one of my close friends) sat with me as I puked into a toilet. There had been other spots in the apartment of the people we were visiting were I hadn't quite made it to the bathroom, so she had been nice and had cleaned them while I puked in the toilet. Hannah and Ronie (who we were visiting) had left to get something from the store, I think, and I had also lost some blood and had changed my clothes. I had heard something and Brittie came to the bathroom smiling as I managed to stop puking and washed my face. Behind her, Jason (my husband-to-be) came in, smiling at me. I'd never been so happy...he looked as he did now, but his hair was grown out, much longer. He said "I told you I'd be here" and I just hugged him tightly as he picked me up and spun me around--which resulted in me rushing back to the toilet after he set me down. But the sickness soon stopped after that, and Brittie and finished the last of my puke just as Hannah and Ronie returned.

The second dream, it had Jason in it again, but him as he is now. Our family members were cooking together, and he got to meet my Uncle Cinto (one of my favorite uncles; he full-heartedly promotes my artwork). Jason's mother (my mother-in-law) was cooking with my Grams and talking with Auntie Paulette and just big familyness. Hovering around and in between was the same muted white blur that I saw the past few days...but she had more of a form... It was my Aunt Dottie... I could hear her voice telling me how happy she was, and how proud of me she was...I can still hear her voice, clear as day. She told me that she had always wanted me to be happy... Later, in the dream, my Grams had asked if I wanted to start some job down in Florida somewhere. I told her I wasn't sure and that I'd have to talk about it with Jason. She said okay, but then I saw us driving to Florida to check out the houses in the area...

When I woke, I had never felt more happy or more at peace...I told Jason all of it, and he told me that he actually used to have his hair that long. Close to 18 inches at one point... When I got to the part about Aunt Dottie and my mother-in-law, I remembered something else. Aunt Dottie's form was close to my mother-in-law, kind of like she was shadowing her. And thinking now, my mother-in-law is very supportive and messages me often. It gives me a warm feeling. I think it was Aunt Dottie's way of saying that she was similar to her and also embodied some of her spirit, in a sense.

On a side note, things are picking up in my classes, and I'm still trying to do commissions, be it art or literary. Jason and I talked about places to live after his enlistment is over, and also places we'd like to visit. Less than four weeks, and he'll be here, along with my Maid-of-Honor who is also one of my closest friends! She's definitely earned her billet, that much is certain ^w^ Things can only get better from here!

Blessed be!